Sunday, September 26, 2010
Friday, September 3, 2010
People surprise you....the ones you thought were your closest friends can turn out to be nothing more than along for the proverbial ride. Hoping like the pilot fish for a handout, to scrape up the leftovers that spill over on your good fortune, but when you need them or when danger shows, they are hiding behind you, cowering...or have found another bigger better fish to replace you.
There are the ones that only call when they need your help or have a free minute to talk...the ones that give very little for the person you are and more for the idea that you're too gullible to say no. It could be that you're too afraid to let go of them, afraid that the only reason they are your friend is because you're always there. Problem is...they won't be there for you when you need them and in reality, you are nothing more than a doormat to wipe their feet on as they walk all over your life.
Lastly, there are my favorite....family...not friends. Ones that stick with you no matter what...no matter how many times you have gone into the gutter, how much you reek of stupidity, or how many times you have forgotten what really matters, and walked out of their life for something better. They are the ones who laugh at your jokes in public only later to tell you they suck, let your cry on their shoulder about how your favorite shirt is nothing more than tatters and swear never to tell anyone that you did, and they are most importantly, the ones that no matter what...you can go to them without fear of being turned away. They do not judge...they do not make light of what you cry over, and they remind you that you are more than you ever thought possible. Mostly, these are the people you should never let go because one day, you'll realize as you look back on your life, they were there through all of it.
-dedicated to the friends that made my life worth living- Just because I wrote this does not mean you all are off the hook for anything done to me in the past. I will get you, my pretties, and your little white lies too. ;)
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Monday, August 2, 2010
“You let go and I fall
Into the rocks below, the rocks
Only meant for me…
My wings fail to save me as they open to embrace the sharp edges as I feel each bone break and shatter…
The Jagged stones pierce through my flesh, muscles tear, and blood flows like a river through the mountains of regret and abandonment.
My eyes cloud over, but fall no tears, the pain is just too much, reminding me I am not dead, only battered, bruised, and torn…
Feathers now stained red cease to flutter, cease to cushion my fall and I see my heart beating softly upon the rock that ripped through my chest…
My soul, once shown through the eyes of an angel, now waits for death to claim it, but even that would be far too easy for my life to grant me…
Instead, I lay in a pool of crimson regret and broken wings that no one can mend…agony reminding me I am still alive, still breathing, though, each intake I beg the sky, the rocks, and the dark to consume me and let me die so my suffering will end… and softly, deliberately, a voice as harsh and as hard as my shallow grave calls over the stillness as the fire and passion my soul once knew, drips out with my blood…each word echoes as I close my eyes and taste of fear and hate…
YOU WERE BETTER OFF ALONE.
“I lay in a pool of my own blood, no tears come to join it, but pain consumes my every thought and again I hear that harsh hard voice calling and I muttered in a breath barely heard, “Alone is for those who have no choice.”
With strength beyond my wildest dreams I stand taking my heart into my hand…I place it back within my chest and shake my fist at the dark
My legs shift under me covered in blood, but I have only one desire now. Fueled by thoughts, spurred by fire, my wings hang useless, broken and shattered, but even now, I feel the new ones grow, not white, but scarlet velvet show…Beautiful, strong, they raise above me, covering my bruises and sheltering my battered form…My soul, alive cries to the sky, screaming for
freedom, not from pain, but from you…”
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
I am a writer....we create rather than sleep, rather than eat...we are a dying breed that is consumed with sharing our stories to anyone that will listen...even if it includes the family dog.
I am a writer...my world is my own, created by me, through me and is part of me. When a character cries, I feel it. When one laughs, I smile. When one dies, a little of me does too.
I am a writer. I argue with voices in my head. The ones who I created and those that created themselves...If you're not one of us, you wouldn't understand.
I am a writer. Words are in my blood. They flow down my hands into my fingers and then to the keys of my keyboard. If I didn't write them, they would drive me crazy.
I am a writer. I do not stop and when I try, the voices in my head drive me on. Creating, Molding, Melding....
I am a writer....
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Revenge...the classic piss on your neighbor game that seems to fuel even the most innocent human heart. We start out early, kids learn that if someone hits you, then you damn well strike them back only harder. As we age, we imagine more sinster ways of going about it, someone hits you and you steal their spouse or sue them for all their worth. Sadly, that doesn't always pan out. Soon, though you are in a battle of the wits or a pissing contest as the lower class would call it, see who can do what to whom and eventually win the war. Unfortunately, I have discovered throughout my existance, that when you piss on your neighbor, you also get some on yourself.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
So, with the return of my computer and the fact my Muse has decided I'm her personal slave again, I thought I would post a blog before returning to her snarling side. Many people have posed the question 'Which is better....Werewolves or Vampires?'
Now, I am a wolf girl myself...long before the additions of Twilight and other urban fantasies (though I know that technically they are not werewolves in Stephenie's creation). Animal magnetism and the raw primal need of hunting and blood have always been more attractive than the seduction and secretiveness of the vampire. Not that I don't like vamps, mind you. They have their place in some of my favorite fiction such as Jeri Smith-Ready's books and the wonderful Noble Blood series.
The debate though, is rather pointless since just like men or women for that matter, we all have our preferences. As for who would win in a battle, I suppose like everything it would depend on who had their head in the game, who had the most to lose, and what advantages they had over each other. Which one is best is entirely up to you!
Still, I think we can all agree on this. We hope they continue to hunt our heart, bite our necks, and remind us a little more of how much we love it when we are bitten..... :)
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
There is hope for all of us. In God, in people, and even in just everyday life. Look at every tree that loses its leaves in the winter...imagine losing your clothes during the coldest part of the year only to gain them back when it starts getting warm outside. Or there's the swam babies...ugly, thin little things that turn into something that people associate with beauty. Hope is in everything we see, and we all need to embrace it. SO...there is a Light at the End of the Tunnel....
Just make sure it's not a freight train bound for hell....